No One Like It

For the past week I've been engulfing my time with Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II. Of course, the second party member you ever get in the game is Atton Rand, a scoundrel with a dark and secret past. Well, this is about him.

All my life I've dreamed about the perfect man, what guy would be most suitable with me. I never had a base to say "Like that" when describing him. I've never had a chance to really think about it either. Truth is, I was afraid to think about it. I thought if I did, I would end up getting my hopes too high and find myself in a pit of spikes with my heart torn out. Lately... I've been thinking about it. I mean, nothing more can scar my heart like my past has. All these guys I've dated and gave chances too. They all wanted something that wasn't me. Something that wasn't so... weird.

Here's how Atton plays out into all of this. He is what I want in my soulmate. His personality, the way he expresses himself. It all just fits, and I never felt so at ease with such a character.

His personality is something I adore. He's raw, exciting, different... He can handle the questions and prodding of the exile, he can fight back and not let the exile push him around. He cares, but he doesn't show it all the time. He gives a damn and shows it when you need it to be shown the most. His childlike ways are just too cute. Like when you're on the Ebon Hawk and he approaches Bao-Dur and asks him about the exile. Asking if him and her would ever be good together and asked Bao-Dur not to laugh. Of course Bao didn't but the droid did. Atton doesn't give away everything right away. You have to wait until you're on Nar Shaddaa and a refugee tells you he knows him. You learn about him in times of discord. When his mind is frazzled and he's trying, trying to protect you from the harsh truth. But he tells you anyway, because it just comes out like a waterfall. It's.. It's the little things like that. Those things that I want most in a guy. Someone who is strong, sure of themselves. Only reveals their darkest past when you're sharing a moment, when he has to. Someone who cares but doesn't have out outright show it all the time. I know it sounds crazy, but... that personality is simply irresistible to me.

Cart from KOTOR I, wounded hero, sensetive, and doesn't want to talk because his feelings are hurt.. not my type. I can't stand a guy who acts too much like the world is out to get him. Those who won't open up because of some stupid thing that one person did to them. No..

I guess I'm asking for a little too much though... I mean, how many Atton Rands are in the world?

I hope to find mine though.. Just like the exile does.